Sunday, 29 September 2013

The Fish Tale!!

I was being build-up and ready to put up with myself and the city of joy, Kolkata by the Dudes and their pretty partners up there. They anticipated my whole digestive system to be a true Bong and waited long for whole 9 months for me to see this city! My veins inside my truly built Bong belly ran with zest once they relished the mind-boggling taste of the "fish" and "rice"!! I was pretty much sure that I have been successful in making Them proud of me. I was here standing up to much of their expectations on which I hold clinging to, just like a faithful pet, through out my life.

I so loved being a perfect Bong. The one look at the "phish" in the road-side bazaars while I am on my way to my college, makes my tongue and heart plunge up high in the air and while I return again on that same way, my "I-could-not-stop-myself" urge to get down from the bus or auto and buy some "phishes" to my home! But I finally stop my salivating pink tongue and my pounding heart which mournfully resides slowly inside my body!! The rib cages remind my corybantic heart that it cannot ever come out from my body breaking them apart. As the bus goes surpassing the bazaars and finally gets on to the main road, my dejected heart starts to get back its previous slow paces. But the "nothing lasts forever" phrase finds its golden space inside my desperate little muscular piece in between my ribcages,which remains busy pumping my blood as always. I say, stop beta, the dinner is not that far! And mom, surely will never serve it without the fish!! 

And there, my heart smiles again! :)

Being a foodie, is the most tragic episode that can happen in a woman's life, ever! Which to choose first??

The food, the fish, or the figure?!! These F's can really be that dangerous in a woman's life!

But what does the world do when they see a woman eating all that she loves without a worry about her figure?! It's a hell of a crime, really?!! The President, the Prime Minister and all others plan to take out a new law against this, keeping the rape cases aside!

The Law-- If you are a woman, you can never eat french fries, rice and all those fatty itchy stuffs! If you do, you must stay single for your entire life and no guys will ever look at you! You must be humiliated in front of all your slim, sexy friends who all have their own handsome boyfriends and husbands loving them and craving for their bodies!

Aaaahhhh!!!! The moment I was going to put the lovely smiling french fries and the rice , looking straight into my eyes and seducing me, into my salivating mouth, the Law somehow disturbed me! The saliva shifted from my very tongue to my eyes and heart!! I pulled myself away from the table of wonderful stuffs, my eyes jealous to see the guys of my family laughing viciously at me and then at the french fries and the rice which were placed proudly on the table by my mom! I looked like a loser!! I ran out of the room only to wait for them to have their dinner and then slowly creep inside and take a handful of rice and the french fries which my mommy will be surely keeping aside for me and my little heart!

But I'm a woman now and I must stop dreaming about these stuffs to have a perfect figure! But being a Bengali woman, I have finally made an advantage out of it. Unlike the vegetarian ladies, I can still be alive with the "phishes" of our Bengal.

My tongue salivating and my heart plunging , each time I see a fish and my mum screaming at me-- Tomake ami ekta vegetarian barite biye debo, dehko!! (I will marry you off to a house of vegetarians, you see!!)

And there, again breaking my heart with these words!!

Wednesday, 25 September 2013

Santa- On A Break!!!! :) (Part 2)

Its been nearly 3 weeks that Santa and Miss.Sweetingle were having the most ecstatic time of their lives. Santa, never in his life, did think about having so much fun. He knew he was perfectly in love! He was happy.

Santa and Miss.Sweetingle were currently settling in India. How lovely is the country,Santaaaaa!! Was Miss.Sweet's first comment when they stepped on it. Christmas was in 1 more day but well, Santa had no gifts for the children! He had long ago made up his mind only to enjoy himself this year, without worrying about the children all over the world.

It was quite a beautiful day when he and his partner went out to chill again. Santa had kept an outlook for the children. The children somehow didn't seem too happy to Santa! They seemed mournful, babies crying on the laps of their mothers, they didn't even had the shelter to save them,nor even the food! Santa knew he was the symbol of love and happiness and Mr.Black probably had captured the children in his absence. The children wasn't happy anymore! They were a soul with no care! They lacked love and joy.

Santa grew impatient. Miss.Sweetingle saw the drastic change in Santa's behavior. He too didn't seem happy! She asked him-- What is it, Santaaa?? Are you kinda sad??

No! I think we ought to go back! 

But why, Santaaaa?? Are you not enjoying with me??

Santa grinned-- Its not that, Sweet!

Then what is it??

They all are so sad, Sweet! I have been really selfish!! They need me. I am their Guardian, Sweets! They are my babies! I love them!! :(

Miss.Sweetingle smiled and replied-- I'm glad you haven't changed yet,Santaaaa! I was so worried when you told you need a break!! I actually took you here so that you can see how sad and needy they are without you, dear! They are indeed our babies! We got to protect them! :) Let's go back and arrange all the gifts for them! 

Ohh!! Sweets! I'm so lucky to have you! I just hope Mr. Black doesn't win over happiness! Let's so back immediately!! :) We gotta save our babies!

Within an hour Santa was on his way back to his home!


Do you have all the stuffs ready, dear Santaaaa????

Oh!! Yeah, Sweet! Will very soon be on their way dear! :) 

Santa turned into beet red while reading her reply-- Awwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!! Santaaaaaa!!!! I love you so much, my fattyyyy oldie babyyyyy Santaaaa!! :* :) 

Thursday, 19 September 2013

Santa -- On a break!!!! :) (Part 1)


SANTA was busy washing his face and belly- length long bleached beard! The wrung look on his face made it very clear that he was recently being on pins and needles! He frowned! He took his soft towel and began rubbing his face harshly!! "OOOOOuuuuuchhhhh" - he screeched tingly!

Again it was him who forgot that he was no more a young lad! He was old- pretty old to do something like that so very rigidly! He took out his mobile phone from the drawer near his bed, and searched for the New Message option. It wasn't anywhere to be seen!! He pressed on the menu options but couldn't see a single option that flashed on his mobile phone!! A prod poked his mind and he narrowed his lacteous eyebrows! Aahh well, it had been nearly 10 decades he had bought this mobile phone! He should have bought a new one!! He wasn't too poor to buy a Tab or Note 2, its just that he didn't have the time to shop for his own bounty needs!! His anger took a peak of its own and he threw the phone. It flew high and crashed against the wall of his room! Santa got up angrily and went into the kitchen! He searched for some left stuffs that could treat his huge handsome breadbasket but there he was- couldn't see a single stuff he wished for! Where did all the cookies went to?? Were they stolen??!! Or did he forget his spectacles in the bathroom again?! Oh No! He was just cooking with gas, he frowned again! He hastily ran towards his bathroom!!  How could he even forget about the spectacles????!! His right eye was disrupted with a minus 82 power and his left eye, huh, well, with almost a century! He put on his spectacles and all thanks to the Almighty, everything seemed smooth and perfect!! :)

He ran to his room and picked up the phone he threw minutes ago!
God!! Please keep it alive!! I love my phone!!

His cell phone was perfectly alright! :) He thanked God, kissed his phone and blessed Nokia! :)

Santa's mobile beeped and he saw a message flashing on its screen.

Do you have all the stuffs ready, dear Santaaaaa?!

Miss.Sweetingle never missed a chance to talk to Santa and well, Santa?! He absolutely loved it!!!!

No!! I'm certainly not going there again!! And you know, this time its an oath. -_-

Awww!!!! :O  No Santaaaaa!  :( Don't do this! There are millions and billions of sweet children waiting for you! You can never hurt them, you know!! 

Santa, pressed the reply button angrily-- I don't care anymore! I don't give them a damn, Sweet!! Its time I worry about myself and you yours!! They wait for me for one damn night and that also for the gifts I give them! They don't love me, but my gifts! They are selfish and its time for me to act their way! I need a Break!! And its also time for me to take some much, much needed rest. So bye! Catch you later, lady!

Within seconds his phone beeped again! Ohh!!!!!! Santaaaaa!!!! :( How can you be sooooo selfish?!!! Ok bye Santaaaaa!! You just made me cry!!!!! :'(

Santa was just going to switch off his cell phone, when he read the last "damn" line of her last text!! He couldn't but text her back.

Ohh!! Honey!! I'm so sorry!  Ok!! I will go just because you say but I have no intentions to miss you again, Sweets!! :(
And you know, its such a hectic journey all over the world! Children these days stay awake just to see me and I so have to wait for them until they fall asleep and then peep inside, and even sometimes some of them suddenly wake up,it really gets too pathetic for me, sweet! Anyways, I will go just because you say,  my love! :)

Ohhhh!!!! Santaaaa I soooo love you my oldie babyyyy!!!! I'm sooooo sorry! I was thinking about those children and not about you, my love!! I couldn't be more selfish to you!!!! :(
I have an ideaaaaa!! :)  Let's go there but make it something very different and exciting this time!! Let's teach them that they don't deserve the beautiful gifts if they are that selfish to you!! What say?? :) ;)

Santa aroused his eyebrows after reading her message!! He started typing-- What love?? 

Ohh!! My oldie babyyyy, let's go there together this time and enjoy ourselves! I have always wanted to see how they live and this could be an exciting journey for you and me! <3 :) 
No gifts for them this Christmas! ;)

Really Sweet??!! Yaayyy!!!! I would love to go with you ,love!! Done!! We are flying there this winter!! :) 

Santa went red and blushed while reading her reply-- Then next month itself, babyyyy!!!!! I Love you so much ,my fattyyyy oldie babyyyy Santaaaa!!!! :* :*

Tuesday, 17 September 2013

Yeh Dil Mange More!!!!

They went out for a movie without her being aware of what was saturating inside his heavy mind. Her eyes were fixed satisfyingly on the large screen glowing in front of them. The actors and the romantic songs made her dream about their romantic and ecstatic future together. She knew she was all his and he was just hers. The movie ended and they stepped out of the multiplex. Oh!! It was raining heavily and they didn't have even an umbrella to give them refuge. They took off their shoes and started walking across the road as it was pretty late! She was holding his hand tightly as if he was the only one she had. She loved him for her life and loved each moment he was with her. The heavy rain didn't bother her at all, it was only him in her mind. She trusted him. The ghastly rain prevented even a single person to come out on the roads. But the couple was too much engrossed in themselves to bother about the rain and the people. The road was deserted. He took her to a more lonely lane and suddenly pulled her towards him. She was in total shock. She pushed him hard but there he was, preventing her to breathe as he kept on kissing her! She pushed him more and more and then retreated herself. It was just her love which made her kiss him back.

They came out from the lane and started walking in the rain. She was literally unable to look into his eyes, and his handsome, young face. She was blushing! She just had her first kiss even without her being awake at the moment. She dreamed of her first kiss many a times before but it was absolutely different but that didn't stop her from loving it.

Suddenly he broke the silence in between them and asked her-- Hey!! Why aren't you talking?! Let's go back. Yeh dil mange more!! :D

And she found herself saying-- Ohh!! Shut up!!

                         She still remembers their first kiss, but may be he doesn't! She cries hoping he will be back again to her and take her to that lonely lane! He is no more with her, and the sole reason is-- His Dil actually Mange more always!!!! He has forced her to kiss, then a little more and then a little more. And she has always refused to the little more and well, it led him to some other girl who would actually give him "that little more"!!!!

Moral of the story-- Even an advertisement can ruin a relationship!!!! Beware guys!!

P.S.- Hope this will be never your story!!

Lots of love,Preeti! :)

Monday, 9 September 2013

Calls From Her Mind!! :)

I was walking when I came across a manhole. I had my best friend beside me and we were too busy talking to each other. And just when I was about to pass the manhole, I stepped on it and it skid opened and I found myself hanging half inside it and half outside! My best friend was trying to pull me up but to no avail. I was screaming out of my life when I suddenly jumped up on my bed! Huhhhh!!!!! It was a dream-- well, just a dream!! I was baffled out and was extremely scared. The dream just seemed to be real and too factual!!

Well, this is not a post about Manholes but about Us-- Women!! :)

Men often complain that they don't get a hint about what we,viz,women do and think!! It's a post to allay their trouble!! One true thing about women is that we always worry too much!! Women are born worriers!! We just can't help it! Its not that we only worry about our loved ones, but we tend to worry on behalf of our friends, our neighbors, their dogs, their maids, our Uncle's-daughter's-son's-wife, someone we just met, well-- who else not?!

Its always the exact scenario with me! I have always found myself building up exaggerated delusions in the air whenever any of my closed ones are out to some work and they are being late!
I give up on my chores and sit to bother about that person! If its raining, I seem to get too sure that he / she have been attacked by a thunder and well, then I start to panic! Or I get too sure that he / she have been kidnapped or may be ransacked and that's the reason they can't possibly call home back!! My mother is exactly like this! And I never get too irked when she calls me 10 times within 10 minutes just to be sure that I am fine and I have not been kidnapped or raped!! I absolutely understand her!! :p

 Whenever I pass by a manhole, I never ever could stop wondering myself to be inside it, crying in pain and flinch in distress at this very uneasy thought! And so, whenever I am walking with my loved ones on the road, I keep on warning them about not to step on the manhole!! 

While watching the news of some disaster, I never stop wondering about my loved ones and myself in that very situation! I see the news and keep on wondering what if I was there with my family?! What if I got stuck there and lose my family?! And there, genuine prayers cross my minds for the victims!! 

It's absolutely not that we women love to torture ourselves with these odious thoughts!! Its just that these uninvited calls pay a visit to our minds without even a prior warning!! 

But if you try to ponder about this fact, you will surely know that we women are the emblem of love!! Through these constant worries, we tend to get attached to our friends and others! Whenever our friends are in a patch of trouble or distress, we feel their pain and thus we get to help them very genuinely! 

Whenever we call you and shout in anger because your phone was in silent mode and you missed our calls, its just because we care! 

If  you are being late and we call you or text you constantly, its just because we care!! (Just to make sure that you reach home safely without falling into any manhole!! )

Its not always that she is possessive or controlling!! She just cares for you and makes sure to be always with you when you are facing a battle in your life!!

The fact is we make sure we are prepared for the worst! May be this is only the effect of over bothering about stuffs that we handle the situations more maturely and quickly!! The fact that a woman is bothering and worrying about you on your behalf, makes her sure that she is in love with you!! :)
                                           We panic, we cry but we make sure that you guys are never alone in distress even when you leave us alone in our distress! We visualize ourselves in the worst situations and get the courage and guts to face them alone, single-minded!! 

It's just that we need love and understanding from others when we behave immaturely sometimes! It's just that we need two arms holding us tight when we cry out of the most stupid thoughts! 

But yeah!! Most of all, we need the time to ponder about the parlous things that could make us suffer and panic and yes, its just to help you!! ;) :)