But- These all came with a "Conditions Apply" tag! A woman with a traditional attire is most likely to be the one with all these qualities. Wearing a tee and shorts if you are a woman (I mean an Indian woman) is still a "She-is-trying-to-show-off" or "Ohh!! My Goodness! She is a bitch!" condition!! And as you can imagine what will be the case if you are already married! And being born as an Indian girl, I am very well aware about our really contemporary society. I had learnt to hold back my ever-longing desire to wear shorts when I go out with such group of people.
I was even more mesmerized when one of my cousin (nearly of my own age) suddenly expressed her decade-suppressed views about wearing shorts.
We were heading towards a family get-together, me and my cousin, hand-in-hand. A girl was passing by wearing a short denim skirt. My cousin suddenly ambushed upon that stranger (I don't know what actually bothered her) and cried out to me-- Look at that girl!!
I (very much unaware of the fact that she was talking about the length of her skirt), replied back to her-- Yeah!! What? I find nothing absurd.....
My cousin waylaid me-- Just look at her skirt!! Ki cheappp!!!! (Ki-- SO in bengali)
I was hushed by her words, not knowing what to reply her back. The girl came nearer to us. I pretended that we were actually not talking about her but somehow guilt suppressed my outlook.
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My cousin was out-flashing her all 32 in great gratitude and pride while I was down in the drains! I was trying to escape the girl's aching heart and emotions! I was trying to prove that I was not the one who considered her to be a bitch!
I looked at my cousin and said-- Chill!!
That was the day after when, I knew all my shorts must be carefully locked inside my closet whenever my cousin visits me, to become a perfect Bharatiya Naari!!
The design is amazing.. March on,wishes :)
ReplyDeleteThank you! :)
DeleteI do believe that every person (be it a man or a woman) has a right to decide what to wear. I think it is comments like the one your cousin made that stops most women from wearing what they like!
ReplyDeleteJust because a women is dressed in a saree and a perfect Indian attire, I don't think it makes her a better person.
This social shaming because of a person's attire has to stop.
I guess, when one is young one is scared of parents. (Or at least listen to parents on what to wear). But when you become independent, it should cease to matter.
Perhaps you should ask your cousin "Why do you feel it is cheap?" and then listen carefully to what she says. Most importantly that she doesn't say! (maybe she herself wants to wear a skirt, but is not *allowed* to and this is her way of dealing with it?)
Just wear what makes YOU happy.
Love
Preeti
I was more shocked when my cousin cried out saying her cheap, my cousin being herself a woman!
DeleteYou are right mam, she herself is forbidden from wearing such attires. Asking her "why does she consider it to be cheap" will only waste my time and energy as she can never think otherwise. (Reason for me telling this is- she makes fun about each and everyone who is over-weighted, bla bla bla!) I have tried and lost the game, so now I find it intelligent to keep shush about it! :D :p
I Completely agree with what Preeti says.. As teenagers maybe we have to listen to our parents. Like I was never allowed to wear sleeveless before marriage. But once u are at an adult you have full rights to decide what to wear and what not. We females do not need approval from each and every member for all aspects of our lives..
DeleteIts sad but true that in most of the families females as daughters or daughter-in-laws have to wear clothes which family members approve bcoz dat is "family culture, tradition & most absurd being a way of showing respect to elders". Females have to cover their heads with pallu of the saree to show their respect to elders but in the same families male members dont cover their head as a token of respect!!!!
http://shilpikarnani.blogspot.in/
Its a shame that this is still a male-dominated society whereas people consider themselves to be so modern! Its even more provoking when we women act so selfish and illogical!
DeleteI second what Preeti told!! It should depend on our own views about what we should wear!! I personally don't feel comfortable wearing shorts outside thus I don't wear but if I ever feel that I am comfortable and happy wearing it I will definitely wear and no one can stop me and am leas bothered about others views. Same thing holds good for hair cuts, tattoos, piercings, etc. :)
ReplyDeleteAnyways I know it's hard to wear something when ppl around you gossip or talk ill about it but don't forget "Zindagi na milegi dobara"!!!
Love
Sri
Yes, I find it very cheap when women themselves act this in heinous way. My post was to reflect our "so called contemporary" society and yeah, I don't hold myself back anymore from wearing what I want. You can never be happy, if u ain't comfortable!
DeleteThis is one unfortunate mentality that is there in most men and many women in our country. There is no way you get to tell others what to wear or tell them what's right in the matter. It definitely needs to be changed!
ReplyDeleteI hope more people can ally with this post and this society at least thinks to change!!
DeleteFunny... But true situation.. These things should be changed..
ReplyDeleteYes Kranthi. Its a bane to our society!
DeleteWhat will you say to your cousin if she questions after looking at this article.
ReplyDeleteIronically, we stand up only when we know we are right, Anonymousji!
DeleteSiggh... men and women alike have been conditioned to possess such an outlook. That actually gives hope that they can be conditioned to change their views toward such issues. While one hopes, here's something I left on my blog for you Preeti: http://venicerowe.blogspot.in/2013/10/liebster-award-for-dear-writing-revived.html The Liebster Award... Congratulations! :) Keep writing!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Venessa! Yet another inspiration for me! :)
DeleteCan very well relate to what you are saying. Being born and brought up in a very simple Bengali middle class family, far away from the city, I saw this mentality countless times. And you know the funny thing? It's not just about the girl or showing skin, what disturbs these people is when someone does something that very few do in their known circle. People feel comfortable staying within the comfort zone. People want the world and other people in it, to be exactly how they want them to be.
ReplyDeleteFor example, as I spent 8 years in Narendrapur Ramakrishna Mission, everyone around me had expectation that I'd wear checked full shirt+formal trouser, comb hair with coconut oil, wear full-rim heavy spectacles, pursue higher study, then a administrative Govt. job/Scientist/.. type profession, then marry a PMM (perfect marriage material) girl, have a bunch of kids & live happily ever after.
But when I started breaking each and every of these presumptions, you can't imagine what I had to face! The day I first insisted to buy tshirt and jeans, my parents told me that 'tui bakhe gechis' (today my dad wears them too). The day I highlighted my hair, they were furious 'kono vadro barir chele chule rang karay?' (now many of my relatives & even father's colleagues are doing the same). I poured water in their dream of choosing bride for me when I resumed my love story with the girl I loved from nursery school. My family went crazy. They made all kind of scary predictions. But you know after 10 years, they love her more than they love me I guess.
One fight is still going on. When I started my journey of Entrepreneurship from second year college, and I decided to discontinue my study after BE, my parents had nearly heart attack. And for last 7 years, every waking hour, I can see remorse, anger, pity, frustration in the eyes of my family. They could never understood the difference between being unemployed and self employed. Infact they didn't want to understand. I cried. I writhed in pain. I thought about committing suicide many times. But I didn't. I didn't give up either.
Why am I saying all these here? Because I WANT EVERY SINGLE HUMAN TO DARE TO BE THEMSELVES. Yes people won't understand,the'll comment, ridicule. Even those who are closest to you or whom you love most. But still don't pretend. I am not saying to hate those people, or argument with those. It's not their fault. Society has brainwashed them for long. Feel sympathy for them. But stick to your ground.
When you stick to your decision or choice for long enough, either people start getting your point of view or atleast shut up.
You've so rightly pointed out each point! Its definitely not only about the women showing their skin. Our So called contemporary minds are making us stick with these silly thoughts! I pity them when they themselves belong to this century yet have these pathetic thoughts! I wish we change! And yes, being hell-bent on our decisions is the first and the foremost thing with which we start! Thank you for dropping by! :) You're just so great! :)
DeleteThank you :) Yeah, will shop! ;)
ReplyDeleteYup i totally agree with you. Indian girls should have full right to wear shorts and miniskirts. society has to change their view on these clothing. a woman revealing her legs shows she is mature not cheap
ReplyDeleteYes!
Delete