Puerile Delusion.!!

I looked at the wide gape of her mouth; I wasn't cynical about her senses being paralyzed. Her muscles went numb, they didn't move an inch. It was a drop of sweat collapsing from her temple that made me feel there was another life in the room - she stared at me like a droid.
             I smiled at her, she was the only sibling I had. She was the elder one; she was all, me and my parents had. Ours was a happy little family. But the thought of her dying gave me goosebumps, I again smiled at her. We are the best of friends so much that we don't need words to communicate. Our eyes did a lot more than mere words. She would die a bitter death but it isn't an age for that. I cursed our God for letting her die. The thoughts of her heart trying to cease and she trying to get a way out of it to live, to love and to be loved, seemed pathetic to me. I closed my eyes and let my fear fall but then when I looked at her, I again smiled.

It was half past noon when mum came running down from the stairs. She was howling in such a poignant manner that dad stood up and gave me a barren look. I could tell by his expression that he was sure of Katie's death. We three ran upstairs into her room, each wishing for the best. We lost our Katie forever. Mum was unable to afford such a pain; she collapsed in front of me, smothered. I hugged her tight and took her to her room, because now she was  my responsibility. Dad was still standing stiff and looking at Katie.

I placed mum on the bed and kissed her softly. I went back to Katie's room and stood beside dad, looking at Katie, my only sister. The bullet has gone straight across her heart pouring blood  from the little hole in her heart I made; had it been her brain, I couldn't have had been sure of her death. I looked at dad, tears came flowing out of his eyes, I held his hands because now there was no Katie and it was my responsibility to look after him and when he looked at me, I again smiled - because now all the toys, the dresses and the love wouldn't have to be shared. They were solely mine. I would now get new dresses, new toys and new love. And give Katie a little share from mine, just the way she used to give me till today. Mum and dad are mine now. Katie is now just a memory to be cherished.

And so when I looked at Katie, I again smiled.

 
   

The Souls Unlike.!

I am the richest soul alive in the New York City. I jumped in triumph when I got my very first modelling contract. I was on the top of this world. The thought of travelling the whole world, me as a super model, the thought of the fame I was going to have, the thought of the lakhs of paparazzi encircling me and trying to get a single hint of my lifestyle, made me that jubilant person I have always dreamt about. I knew I was born to be famous, I knew I was made to be rich. I have that handsome looks that any man would die to have for, I have that dashing looks that can make any girl go weak in her knees. I am the dream of the dreamers….…..

……..This was the first time in the past 3 years that I am here in my hometown to meet my family.  No sooner than I arrived, I stumbled into a beautiful face that I once knew. Ah! She is the girl whom I dumped for better reasons of my life. She was my girl. I looked her closely while still sitting inside my posh car. We had a cute relationship; she was the cute pretty girl with whom I could share anything and everything of my life, she was the one who loved me irrespective of what I was.  She had loved me with all her soul. But I wanted something more, someone prettier. She wasn't the one I wanted. So I dumped her before flying to the New York City to have my awaited king-size lifestyle……..

………I waited till she disappeared from my sight. I waited for her to look at me and smile, if not smile, at least look at me. I was the man she had loved truly. But she didn’t look at me for once. Not a single time she even tried to look at me. I wasn’t habituated with such an attitude, neither from her, nor from anyone in this world. I was the super model, one of the richest person alive.! And yeah, she was always excited to be with me, when we were a couple. We were so happy. I was so happy.!  She has changed, yeah she has. Or is it that she got someone better than me?!  Better than me?!! Huh!! I must be kidding.!! Why am I even waiting for her to smile at me?! Am I insane?  I am a super model, and she?!  Well, she is nothing compared to me; I just can’t smile at anyone and everyone.

I was on my way back to home from my office. A slender big posh car caught my eyes. I looked at it in awe. I have given every second of my life to my career, to be a good engineer. I can afford a car very soon. I was happy with that thought.  I had to buy a car and give it to my mum.  A little more hard work and I can surely achieve my dream. I was deep in thought just when the face of a handsome young man got me struck. For a moment or two, I was blank- I was completely blank in my mind. I looked at him smiling at another man. Was it that fake smile which I knew once? He is the man- err, or would I say that guy, I am in love with. He is that person who dumped me three years ago because of prettier women. My heart began thumping aloud. Somewhere within myself, I still loved him, I still thought about him, whether he misses me or not; but the answer had always been no. I have seen him in the news with his current girlfriend, she too a super model; the third girlfriend in two years and I have cried some more then.  I am nothing in front of her looks. He got whatever he wanted in his life- fame, money,  women prettier than me. He is happy. I cannot be the person who crosses his mind even for a second. I wanted to flee, I wanted to hide. I looked away from him………..

…………I hastily walked passed by him. I didn't look back at him. I knew I would be again having those deadly nights, crying for him. But maybe I was wrong. It wasn't  a minute after seeing my  mother waiting for me with a smile, that I forgot about him, that I saw him after 3 years, the guy whom I loved like anything- I forgot about him.! I was deep into my normal present life. I am a happy girl now, which I couldn't be when I was with him ever. Love cannot be one sided ever. I am satisfied with my life now, I am so happy now. His presence, his fake smile, didn't do much to me. I am happy that I am overcoming my past.  I finally realized I am the happiest when single; without him…….

……It’s tough to fall in love more than once. But if it happens, it’s simply magic. And I believe in magic. I have fallen in love with my life....!

Mephitic Desire!!

My mind constantly kept on digging into the past as I opened the empty almirah and stood deadpan, in front of it.

"I was tempted. I was just tempted,Dikshu. I never meant to leave you, ever." I recalled Pritam's fretful face.

My heart began to cripple again. I cannot end my 11 years of marriage, may be Pritam needed another chance. I cannot live without him. I closed my eyes as I felt a tear drop on my hands. 

I had just gone to the panipuri stall with Minakshi when a lady got down from a white Hyundai car, that just resembles ours. She was too gorgeous wearing a little red dress and high heels. I had always wanted to wear these short dresses but neither did Pritam like them nor did he approve. I gazed at her style and the way she carried herself! I was in awe. "Wanna have one like her?!" Minakshi pinched me, "Let me buy you one, Pritam will not know!" 

"Huh! No,Minu! I'm a mother. And Pritam doesn't like it!" I said and again looked at the car. A man got down and hugged her from behind. My jaws dropped after what I saw then. The man who hugged her was my husband, my very own Pritam. They walked towards the mall. I felt my knees tremble. I started running after them hoping myself to be completely wrong. But I knew I wasn't wrong when the man in the suit cried out - "Diksha?! What are you doing here?!"

"I love her, Diksha! Stop crying like a fool. Look at her and look at yourself. She is gorgeous!" shouted Pritam, the same night.

"But I'm your wife. How can you cheat on me?! You can't do this!" I cried, trying to keep him only mine.

"Don't shout. I'm busy now. We will talk later. Let's make it at peace!" I heard his cruel voice.

"What? What at peace?!"

"Divorce. Look, there's no point in staying together anymore!" said he, holding my shoulders.

"Divorce?! Are you mad?! You will leave me for that girl!!" I shouted, trying to control my tears.

He looked at me blankly and then went into his room and closed the door behind him.

I closed the almirah and sat down on the bed weeping again. I tried to distract my mind but it kept running away to those injured memories. Pritam has accepted that he had made a mistake and that he only loves me. He's no more with Naina. Will I give him a last chance?

I got up and took the photograph out from my suit case. It had Pritam and me smiling happily,with Pritam holding our little Shreya. I kissed on it and kept it on the table. I signed the divorce papers and kept it beside the photo frame. I read the letter again which I wrote last night - "I am sorry, Pritam. Look, there's no point in staying together anymore. Its over. Be happy!" and kept it there too. 

I took Shreya on my lap, dragged the suitcase down the stairs and opened the door of our home, I mean, our house! My mind gave up on giving anymore chances to Pritam even though my heart clasped to our memories. I stepped out of the door with the hope of a new start!

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Unescorted!!

"I understand, but it is just about a day, Rohan!" Sohini's text message flashed on my mobile screen while I tried to concentrate on the documents.

I typed the text in double quick time. "Yeah, that's the point! It's just about a day. I can't risk my job for just a day." 

"Huh! But its our anniversary, damn it! Just a day's leave can never risk your job." My phone beeped in another second or two.

"Listen, I love you. You know how busy I am, Sohini, don't you? We can meet this weekend and have fun. Can't we?! I will take you anywhere you ask for! ;) " I replied to her text, trying to comfort her.

"Its not about having fun. Its about our anniversary! Please Rohan, lets meet up. I never ask anything from you. do I?!" 

"K!" I was piqued by her being a nagging pain.

I wish I hadn't been that rude to her! I wish I hadn't taken her for granted! I wish I hadn't broken up with her just for my job! Chunks of those memories came flashing to my mind as I quickly took the polybag and pretended to be busy with it. I peeped at the man who held her hands and then at Sohini, only to see how happy she was! They smiled and laughed and held each others hands, just like we once used to, or may be, she used to. Anyone could say they were perfectly in love with each other! I saw them till they disappeared from my sight. My driver opened the car's door for me. I sat inside and kept my bag on the empty seat beside me.

This post is a part of Write Over The Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

The Defender

'First Aid Box. Check. Knife. Check. Spectacle Case. Check.' Mr.Ganguly seemed ecstatic as he concentrated on his assets.

'I hope I am not really missing out anything!' He glanced at Jaya, his better-half of 41 years.

'I wish we never had!' Jaya retorted back. 

'We didn't, Jaya! You know, I am super excited to see little Payal again. Oh! How I have missed her cute dances.' Mr.Ganguly smiled, looking at Jaya.

'Yes. I have missed her too, Pranay. But I have missed my son the most.' She seemed to whimper again. 'Oh! Jaya!' Mr.Ganguly came near and hugged her.

'I can't really believe we are going to see them finally! Bonny has always been so busy! And you know even Payal is so busy with her studies, dance classes, swimming classes and what else not! Poor little girl! We never used to study so much in our days....'     

'.....And now finally they've planned a holiday for us! It must be very tough for Bonny and Shweta. But this is what family is for.! They will do anything and everything for you.'  The elderly man beamed as they hurried towards the 34 Bus-Stand. 

'Hmmm.... Are they coming here? Have you asked them exactly where we have to wait?' asked Jaya.

'Oh yes my lady, I have! Don't you worry about these things.' said the zealous Mr.Ganguly.

'Will you never be serious about anything,Pranay?' Jaya seemed too vexed with her husband. 'Did you take your cell phone? We can call them in case of any emergency.'

'Oh yes! I have.' smiled Mr.Pranay.

'What? Did he pick up your call?' asked Jaya with a worried look.

'Ummm.... No.. Its saying Bonny's cell phone is switched off. Let me try once again, wait.'

'Oh, God! Keep my son well. Keep his family well, God! I hope they are all fine. Why is their phone switched off, Pranay?' Mrs.Ganguly almost started weeping.

'Ahh, Jaya. Nothing has happened. May be the bad network is creating issues.' said he comforting his wife.

'But its been 3 hours, Pranay! Why aren't the coming? I am scared.' wept Jaya when suddenly their mobile beeped.

'Aahhh....Hello....? Bonny?' said Mr.Ganguly. 'Yeahh.... Oh.. Okay. Okay..'

'What did he say?' asked his wife after Mr.Ganguly ended the call.

'He said we should go back to our home. He will be late.So he will come there himself. Let's go, Jaya.' smiled the juvenile man.

'Oh Thank God, they're fine.' The woman of his life seemed relaxed.

'Hello dad, I am sorry, I can't come. I am busy and so is Shweta. Sorry, I became a bit late to inform you. May be we will meet next year!' Mr.Ganguly recalled his son's handsome voice. Then he put his arm around his beautiful wife as they walked towards the old-age home again.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Unbeaten Solitude

I ran. I ran amidst the black-hearted, egregiously demonic wood. All I could feel was the vicious smell of the cacodemons approaching me. I held my breath and I ran. I ran faster, I ran harder. I had to save us. The limpid beats of Pari's heart and mine became louder to my senses. The stories of the woods my mother told me when I was a little girl always had given me goosebumps. But who knew these dastard woods will be my only refuge today!

Pari was awake from the shock I gave her tonight. She looked at me and started crying. But I didn't stop. This is the first time Pari's tears didn't make me worried, didn't make my heart wrench. But I was afraid, afraid to lose her. Her cry made me irked and angry. It scared the hell out of me.

I angrily said, whispering to her - Shut up, Pari. Just stop crying!

But Pari, a girl who was totally like her mother, stick intent to her decision of crying and making me even more impatient. I could see through almost every qualities that she has acquired from me. The restlessness which I still possess, the beautiful little face which exactly resemble mine, the curly hair - not an inch different from my long hair. She soothed me, her tears made me more desperate. Her pretty little face made me determined about my decision, about the drastic attempt I have taken tonight. I felt at ease. She wasn't a bit like her father. No, she wasn't! 

My raging heart could never leave her alone with her father. I was restless every moment when she was with him, while I lay alone in this cruel dark world. 

I would tell the world, I would tell the court that she is the only thing I have. I love her like no one does. Her father cannot love her the same. Her father doesn't have a heart. 

I stopped in the dark looking all around. All I could see was darkness. It was a pitch-black world I live in. I know I cannot give her the lavish life she led at her father's, I cannot render her expensive birthday parties and gifts like her father did, I can never buy her a dress like the one she's wearing right now. I know I can't. But I know I can give her my life, my love, and myself which was enough for her to be with me. I am her mother, I have carried her within myself for nine long months and this was a reason enough for the world to leave the two of us alone. The law, the courts, the judges, her father and his wife cannot snatch her from me. She is mine from breakfast to dinner.

              The only survivor of our relationship was Pari. We were constantly fighting over her, I wanted to take her with me, the only one I had. But Raman wasn't in a mood to leave her either. What else did he want when he had his beautiful Priya with him, I never understood!
        What happened to those days when he made a thousand promises to me, he knelt down and proposed me to get married to him and gave me a wonderful ring at our marriage? I was happy then, we were a very cute couple. Pari came in our lives two and a half years after our marriage. She made us complete.



Our kins had just left the hospital when Raman whispered into my ears - I have another angel in my life! Thank you, love.


The pain of the stitches on my belly, the exhaustion from giving birth, vanished all of a sudden like a puff, when he said those words. I blush every time I remember those words. I was excited to lead a happy life together. I dreamt of holding Pari's hands together and make her walk, tell her bed-time stories and then kiss her goodnight together but Priya came in between us. She has playfully snatched away my husband from me and destroyed our family and my life!

                The marriage, the promises, our thousand nights didn't matter anymore to Raman. I didn't matter anymore to him. All matters to him now, is Priya. And Priya is with him. Then why, why is he trying to snatch Pari away from me?!

I thought not the whole world was this cruel but they broke my imaginations in air when the court announced Pari would stay with her father after our divorce! I died a thousand deaths the moment it was announced. They couldn't see the love a mother has for her baby, all they could see was Raman's money, his big house, his luxurious cars and his charm with which he fooled even me! I saw Raman and Priya smiling wide the moment they heard the judgement. Raman looked at me and expressed his long depressed feeling through his crooked gestures-- I told you, I would win! 




        



              Pari finally stopped crying as I silently sang lullabies to her. Aah!! I know she must have craved for them each night while her father and Priya lay beside each other in some other room. I so missed her.! Pari closed her eyes and went into her dreams. I kissed on her cheek. Yeah, I kissed her nearly after 8 months. My hands began to tremble as I held her in the dark, cold wood. I only had one shawl which I perfectly arranged for Pari to sleep. I sat beside her in the dark, trembling as the cool breeze blew above us. But it didn't bother me anymore. I smiled my victorious smile! I am a kidnapper. Yes, just like the one which my mother had described to me when I was like Pari. I did just like what my mother had once told me; I went into Raman's big bungalow, killed the gatekeeper whom once I used to call Ravi-kaka, entered Pari's big room from the window, saw Priya there, killed her when she shouted on seeing me and then took Pari in my ever waiting hands and ran.


The world would now call me a murderer but I simply don't care. I have my Pari with me. I wouldn't have to kill them if Raman would have let me stay with her. He snatched her away from me, I snatched away his happiness.I looked at Pari's beautiful face and again smiled my victorious smile - I told you, Raman.I would win!

Star-Crossed

                                                             

To see the honor, please click on the link - spicy-saturday-picks-march-1-2014

My cell phone was juddering and flashing for the 5th time now. Exasperated, I clutched it and threw it into my coat pocket. Sachin, Mrs.Kandimalla and others who gathered in the conference room looked at me worriedly as I paused giving my Presentation.

"Umm.... Sorry! Sorry for the interruption!" I looked at their questioning faces. 

After more 15 minutes, I took up my bag and hastily walked out of the room. I wanted to call Varun and sort out things but I hesitated. I was petrified.  

I sat in my car and sighed. I looked at his missed-calls again. No! Its time now! I must call him and end everything. I dialed his number.

                  "Hey! Soumi, I wanted to ask you something! I knew you will call me back."  I suddenly heard a not-expected-buoyant voice from the other side.

"I was busy, Varun and you know it. I was having an important meeting!" I was brash enough to break his heart again.

"Oh.. Yeah I thought you are with Sayak. Sorry!" His voice became intense.

"Ohh!! For God's sake Varun, stop this now!" I retorted back.

There was silence for another few seconds. "Anyway why did you call me?!" 

"Hmm.... Can we meet for a last time, Soumi?"

"Why?!" 

"No! I mean, just like that. I will be going off to Australia next week, Soumi. Just wanted to see you for the last time!" I was afraid of his weeping but I kept my rude voice consistent.

"Oh! But today I am going to tell Sayak that I want no divorce from him, that I am in love with him. I don't think we should meet anymore, Varun. I hope you understand!"

"He won't believe you, Soumi. He knows you love me! He can't trust you anymore. Don't leave me, Soumi!" Varun pleaded.

"I will make him understand. He's my husband. He will understand me! You're my past, Varun." 

"Please Soumi!!" I felt Varun burst into tears.

"Huh! Varun, stop crying. I didn't cheat on you ever, Varun. I fell for him. You could have understood if you were married too."

"Hmmm......" I heard his silence again.

"Hello, Varun.... I am late. We can talk later." 

"No its ok. We don't need to talk anymore. Bye and take care!" 

I switched off my cell phone and sat quietly for another 10 minutes inside my car. Sayak loved me but I didn't, when I married him. Varun and I were a couple since our college days. We were immensely in love with each other but I had to marry Sayak as he was a Bong. Yeah, in short I was forced to marry Sayak. 

           

                             
                                   I was driving my car and trying to focus on the traffic but my mind wandered back to the night when I confessed everything about Varun and my husband sat there in shock. And tonight, when everything is ready for divorce and all the papers are with me, my heart ditched on Varun. The three years of Sayak and me, the silent dinners we had together every night, our separate bedrooms, his silence from the other room at night while I lay on the bed talking to Varun-- left my heart confined in his house, confined in the man who stays with his wife, but not his lover. The time, the fate had left my heart confined with the man who loved a stranger. 

And now I am in love with this man. I am not really sure whether he will understand me. I am scared he will still sign the papers,which he knew, were waiting for him tonight. I am scared to lose him, and yes, I have told this to Varun. I hope Varun didn't consider me as a cheat. I hope Varun will find a lovely girl for himself. I hope Varun will forget me.

        "Hi, Sayak. Had a very important meeting today and I guess, it went good." I  said as I saw Sayak sitting on the sofa and his eyes, glued to the television screen.

Our three-storied house was silent. "Sayak.. How was your day?" I asked him after a pause.

"Ah. Good." He replied without looking at me.

"I have something to tell you, Sayak. Can you please look at me?!" 

"Go and change first. You're tired!" Sayak looked at me and smiled.

                             

I was splashing waters on my face when I felt something sting behind me. A sudden pain engulfed my body, awning my vision. I felt a huge lump inside my throat! I struggled to turn around and look at Sayak smiling at me gracefully, holding a knife which was red.

The shock immersed in the throbbing, crude pain as I fell onto the ground. Sayak sat beside me while I wailed on the floor. He whispered - "Sorry, Soumi! I love you. Either you're mine or you're dead."